In solidarity and gratitude
While so much feels at stake during these unsettled times, we have a celebration of solidarity coming.
Just yesterday, a friend helped me reframe my approach to part of Hope Floats’ 10-year Gala next Friday, Nov. 9. Called “A Decade of Hope,” the gathering is both a chance to thank a community that supports grieving families and to sustain our commitment as a nonprofit.
I was talking to our emcee for the evening. Dave Kane is a longtime radio host and author from Rhode Island. Dave had seen our rough draft for the program and made a suggestion.
Rather than holding a “moment of remembrance” for our loved ones at the start of the program, he offered to introduce a moment of gratitude instead. To pause reflecting on our thanks for a loved one, “for having these people in our lives, and the contributions they have made, and continue to make.”
I fully embrace Dave’s expression.
It moves us further ahead than a stilted “moment of silence” ever can, which may feel so impersonal and cliché. And while remembrance of a loved one is so crucial to most of us—actively remembering them as we do things to honor them, or find a new purpose ourselves—expressing gratitude grounds us firmly in the present. Being grateful for what we have, both for people who physically accompany us, and for ongoing connections with loved ones, seems like a big step towards reconciling our pain.
Plus, we want the gala to be filled with light. We already feel lifted by so many participants and incredible volunteers.
A big step towards reconciling our pain.
(Brief “infomercial” intrusion: There are still tickets available for the gala, at Jones River Trading, 42 Elm Street, Kingston, Ma. Doors open at 6 p.m., and we’d love to see you there.)
Coming into this event, there’s so much gratitude to pass around.
For Denise and myself, after starting Hope Floats Healing and Wellness Center in our son Michael’s memory in 2008, we marvel that we can maintain a connection with him. Somehow his spirit or soul supports the outreach that Denise and her caring team lead for other grieving families at Hope Floats.
In his own way, Mike shows us how he continues giving his mom and myself love. He sends it to her and she gives it to everyone else coming through the center. His love helps provide her—both of us—the ability to keep reaching out to others.
He has so much love for what she has done, and it helps keep his memory alive.
Gratitude for loved ones, the contributions they have made, and continue to make.
We are also thankful for those who have entered our lives aligned with center’s work. They are among the givers who continue to lift others up.
Next Friday’s gala will support renovating part of the Hope Floats’ main house into a “Family Room” to support children and family programs. It’s really for the kids.
This includes the free support groups we call “Mike’s Club” where “littles,” “middles,” and teens gather in their age appropriate groups while adults meet as well. The kids and teens do projects tied in with remembering a loved one or expressing themselves, guided by caring facilitators and an arts therapist or social worker.
We welcome your help to do this. Other children and families need it across our region.
Solidarity centered in gratitude
Showing solidarity is so vital in many different contexts. Unfortunately this was amplified again in Pittsburgh after the shootings at the Tree of Life Synagogue last weekend. In that case, and rippling out to here, I wonder about our collective willingness to stand not only with the victims’ families, but also with the work the synagogue does to help immigrants—which apparently contributed to them being targets.
How do we bridge the divide between love and hate? How do we reconcile our worst fears?
Perhaps being centered in gratitude will help.
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Time it was
And what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence
A time of confidences
Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
Preserve your memories
They’re all that’s left you.
— “Bookends” by Paul Simon
Performed by Simon and Garfunkel
